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Home > It's not a latte factor, but a food obsession

It's not a latte factor, but a food obsession

November 8th, 2008 at 08:03 pm

I have realized that I am OK at not spending money on impulse buys. I think it is a lot of the learning and conditioning from being here and talking to you all for so long. BUT, I have noticed I do have a weakness when it comes to unecessary spending.

I am addicted to food.

I can say no to anything else. Talk myself out of anything else. Reason myself out of anything else. But once I get the idea in my head that there is some food I want, or snack I want, or I want to eat out at a special place or just plain eat out, I CANNOT talk myself out of it. And on those rare occassions when I do, I obsess over the food I didn't get all night until I can get it the next day.

I know this is more a food/eating problem, and it is something I am working on in therapy, but I have recently realized it is a money issue as well. Days when I say no to the donuts, ice cream, ordering in, eating out, stops for coffee, I don't spend extra money. I tend to stay on budget. I guess food is my latte factor, but damn, that's a big f***ing latte!!!

It's hard to admit this, but I would say about $2,500 of my $5,000 CC debt is from eating out. The rest is books and splurges, some necessities, but about half from my food addiction.

Wow. I never thought I would admit that to anyone, ever.

Even now, as I write this all I can think of is walking next door to DnD and getting 2 donuts. Only $1.68! And I have about $12 of my own spending cash. BUT I am trying not to do it. First, because I have to start to break the cycle somewhere, and second, because I am very unhealthy and overweight and NEED to lose weight.

Ive commented here before that when my health/weight is getting better and I am more in control, my spending goes out of wack. And vice versa. But now I am realizing it is not an either/or issue. They are linked together. I can't focus on clenaing up just one, because then I ignore the other. I really need to battle them as one lump issue, as opposed to two separate issues.

I guess therapy is a good place to start. Thanks Goddess I decided to go back this summer. I am also starting the process for weight-loss surgery, approval from my health insurance, etc. My therapist suggested I check out Overeaters Anonymous, and I am starting to think this is a good idea. And it seems like this will be my therapy for the financial aspect of this battle.

Wow. That was a lot of heavy blogging there. Thanks again for everything these past few weeks from you all and for listening. Just being about to put it out there makes it more real and makes me face it better.

Posted in | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “It's not a latte factor, but a food obsession”

  1. Ima saver Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 08:14 pm 1226175240
    1226175240

    I have a problem with food cravings too!! I like sweets like chocolate donuts too! I was buying a fresh do nut every day, but I quit and have not had one in years! You can do it!!

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 08:18 pm 1226175498
    1226175498

    This is something you can do! I think overeaters anonymous sounds good...probably free, too?!

  3. mom-sense Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 08:42 pm 1226176945
    1226176945


    Wow, I think that is great insight that you have reached. I also think that it is a starting point for making better choices and decisions. For me, fear is a big thing - fear of having no money, etc. I know it is illogical and I have money in the bank to alleviate this fear. Instead of being able to say, "I have X in the bank in the of an emergency" and using my daily money to reach goals like paying off debt, I tend to hoard. I have made some progress, and have to force myself to make the right decisions on a daily basis. And I can't worry too far into the future. And it spills over into my eating too. While I am not overweight, I have put weight on over the years (each of my children has tacked on 5 lbs, and when there have been five - it all adds up). And I suffer from all or nothing mentality as well. If I eat Halloween candy - one isn't enought. I've already blown my calories for the day, so what is another? We all fight our own battles internally, but I think you are making GREAT progress!

  4. scfr Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 08:55 pm 1226177704
    1226177704

    Thanks for sharing this with us.
    Hugs to you.

  5. Lady T Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 09:13 pm 1226178823
    1226178823

    OA is a 12-step program, and you can have great success with it if you go in with willingness and an open mind. I think you will do great!!

  6. Ms. Pearl Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 09:13 pm 1226178839
    1226178839

    I can totally relate. Thanks for sharing.

  7. whitestripe Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 09:31 pm 1226179875
    1226179875

    I can relate to the feeling of tracking your spending and realising that X amount each month goes on unnecesary food purchases. I don't have exactly the same problem - i can say no and it will be alright, but I haven't always been like that. I grew up in a very healthy, restrictive family - no sweets or anything like that. when I was in high school, my dad used to give me $20 a month pocket money (he would deposit it into my bank because he lives two states away). As soon as it was there, I'd take it all out and buy chocolate, chips, lollies etc. It would last two days, three at the most. I would feel so guilty about it too. My problem I guess was I felt like I wasn't allowed to have that stuff (well, I wasn't!). so for the most part of the month I would eat super healthy and then binge for two days. Frown I have had to work hard to break that cycle once I started earning a wage - I realised I could get very overweight if I kept it up! Not living with my parents made a big difference too. Now eating healthy is just as exciting as eating chocolate for two days - because I am not restricted in what I eat. (we weren't allowed to eat all these types of things like wheat, corn, gluten etc - my parents bought into a lot of fad things).

    eh!
    that's my story!

  8. fern Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:48 pm 1226188087
    1226188087

    It sounds like you think of both food and spending $ as rewards for yourself? If so, maybe just start coming up with other rewards that don't hurt your wallet or your weight. Like, treat yourself to a nice (lukewarm, not hot) bubblebath and burn a scented candle while sippling a glass of Zinfandel. Now that would be a treat.

  9. zetta Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 01:32 am 1226194355
    1226194355

    There's a book called Rethinking Thin that makes the point that years of research points to overeating not being a psychological problem but actually a misfunction of the chemical processes that drive the body's hunger mechanisms. Seriously overweight people are often perfectly healthy mentally in all other aspects of their lives. I've heard that there are actually 3 separate physical mechanisms that control the detection of hunger, the feeling of satiety, and the generation of cravings. This is why a craving can be so strong even when you don't actually feel hungry. Therapy is of limited help when your body is physically screaming EAT. Unfortunately the book comes to the conclusion that for permanent significant weight loss, surgery is the only option that works for the majority of obese and seriously overweight people. I'm not recommending anything in particular for you personally, but just thought you might find the book interesting.

  10. monkeymama Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 01:33 am 1226194408
    1226194408

    I can completely relate. If I wasn't married to Mr. HEalthy, who is in charge of all things food, I would easily weigh 300 pounds or something. (I learned my eating habits from my 300-pound mother).

    Anyway, I am blessed to have him. But yeah, just wanted to say I RELATE. I can do fine with the money, but the same rules apply to eating I guess and I have some major issues there. IT's not the same, for me. Though the rules are the same.

    Fern - eh. bubblebath, candle, zinfandel. No comparison. I'd rather have a piece of cake. Wink But yeah - you bring up a point. I guess we have to be mindful of other things. I guess the only thing I like better than food is exercise so it kind of evens out for me. I am one of those who works out so I can eat more (but I love the rush of exercise). I got that from my dad. So I learned some pretty atrocious eating habits from both sides. (He'll exercise so he can eat 3000 calories a day).

  11. Apprentice Fun-Frugalist Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 05:11 pm 1226250715
    1226250715

    Thanks for sharing.... you rem what some of your school-teachers used to say ( well some of mine did anyway)... that you should always ask a question and not worry about sounding stupid because chances are there are 10 kids who don't understand either but are afraid to ask !!

    I think an awful lot of people could relate to you. I love chocolate and ice-cream. Especially chocolate ice-cream !! lol. I run a couple of times a week (am preparing for a marathon on Nov 30th) and have lost weight thro the running - without cutting my intake of calories. I'm like monkeymama in that I run to burn off all the chocolate treats I've eaten.

    One point tho.... I've began to realise how important Sleep is to the whole food craving thing/even spending thing. If my batteries are low - through lack of sleep or overwork/exercise, I will clean all the cupboards out of EVERYTHING sweet.... I think subconsciously I am looking for an energy/mood boost by eating sweet stuff.

    On the other hand, if I am well rested/not tired I find it so much easier to resist sweet things/buying junk as my mood will be pretty good and I won't be looking for a pick-me-up...

    How is your sleeping ? Do you feel as if you're getting enough ??

  12. frugaltexan75 Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 01:46 am 1226281601
    1226281601

    Koppur,

    I too can relate. For me, my eating habits and financial habits go hand in hand. When one is out of whack, the other one usually is too. When I have one under control, then usually the other one is also. My apartment also shows what state my mind/eating/finances are in - the cleaner it is, the more control I am in - the messier it is, the less control I am having.

  13. baselle Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 03:12 am 1226286734
    1226286734

    That's a great insight. Hugs to you! I second improving your sleep hygiene - consistent 8 hrs is a must. Eating something with protein in it for breakfast is also a must. Eating a bit of fruit before grocery shopping is also a must. No candy in the house. Actually, I have had candy, but I put it in the linen closet w/ the strong bath scents. After that, what kind of works for me (185 lbs here) is avoidance, avoidance, avoidance. There are aisles that I dare not go to in the grocery store; there are stores that I cannot walk past; if a co-worker tells me of the candy in a common area, I smile and say, "I'll be there in a minute." Then make sure the minute never arrives.

  14. Caoineag Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 03:13 pm 1226330028
    1226330028

    I completely sympathize. I am the type who will get a craving and if I don't give in, its still there a week later...I also exercise solely so I can eat more. I am definitely looking forward to moving to my new house which doesn't have 10 restaurants within easy walking distance.

  15. Koppur Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 04:21 pm 1226334065
    1226334065

    I do sleep OK, but not the best. I've been an insomniac since I was a kid. I take a prescription sleep aid, but some nights it just doesn't work. I don't exercise, not at all enough. I think it is a combination of being tired and lazy. I know exercise would help me sleep better and make me less stress and therefore crave less sweets. Hmmm, maybe there is something to that exercise thing after all. Smile
    Zetta...I'll have to check that book out., Maybe there will be a few useful tips in it. Thanks!

    Fern, you hit the nail on the head. I always associated rewarding myself with buying myself something or with food. I know the food thing comes from my family, not sure where the buying this came from. Mums and Dad didnt spoil us, but they weren't overly tight with money either. I remember babysitting when I was 12 and earning my own money for magazines, books, CDs, etc. Around the time I was in HS I realized, hey, I can use some of my own money to go to McDonalds after school with my friends! ANd it all grouped together.

    Thanks again for sharing and commenting everyone!!!

  16. baselle Says:
    November 11th, 2008 at 04:53 am 1226379218
    1226379218

    One other point. You live in Boston, you've blogged about this on the first week of November, one week after reverting back to standard time, and 6 weeks before the shortest day of the year. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is marked by depression, and a strong craving for carbs. Might want to think about getting more wide spectrum light and adding a vitamin D supplement.

  17. North Georgia Gal Says:
    December 9th, 2008 at 05:52 pm 1228845142
    1228845142

    Wow! You are going through the same thing I am. Once I get an idea about going out to eat, it will not go away. We can keep each other on track!!

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